Come see me tonight at The Purple Onion, win Stars Wars action figures

Tonight I’m at The Purple Onion, you should come. Why? Because you haven’t seen me perform in a long time. Why again? Because its Wednesday in the city and you don’t have anything to do. Why for three? A drawing for Star Wars vintage collectibles for all who paid admission.

Purple Onion at 8 with Max Curry Tony Sparks Chantel Williams Griffin Daley Brian King Sam Davidoff Gary Cornbred Anderson Charles Orenthal James Patterson Kelly Anneken Drew Harmon. $10 at door. Booze, grub over 18

And Next Friday June 3, I’ll be at Il Pirata for Bombshell’s. All lady comics, all smoking hot! I suggest you come down and flirt with me. I’ll tell you some dirty jokes.

Bombshells Comedy, June 3 at Il Pirata

Bombshells Comedy, June 3 at Il Pirata

Its good for America; Donald Trump doesn’t want to be president any longer.

I’m sure Donald Trump accomplished several goals in his short presidential bid. He achieved the highest level of attention. Wouldn’t you consider being the butt of THE joke at a prestigious dinner where the president chided you on your bandwagoning platform, a success? Or, is it better to get coverage from every major news outlet in the world? Yes dear Trump, the world is watching. You’re television ratings went up; people recognize your name, your products and, your companies even more than ever. In fact your name has never “not” been in the news. You’ve accomplished a lot in your life; made and lost millions. Why would you consider the level of embarrassment that you running for president would cause our political system? You’ve had affairs, you’ve coined a catchphrase, “you’re fired”, you’ve made a nation of stylists drool at the thought of fixing your hair.

Unfortunately I’m embarrassed for our country more days than not. Over the past few years our culture has disintegrated into a hyped up, misinformed country of “report it now, pay for it later” consumers. As a group we’re no longer interested in our realities, we’re interested in our escape and others downfall. Welcome to America; we’re here to build you up and then bring you back down to our level. If it takes going through your garbage, following you at all hours of the day and, shaming you publicly until you break or until you put on 10 pounds so the public can feel better about themselves. We just want to break you and then make you feel horrible about every little thing you’ve ever done wrong.  Think about the vitriol that our news outlets spew 24 hours a day. We consume, we asked for it and now this is what you get. You got Donald Trump running for president.

I’m embarrassed because we refuse to take responsibility on a personal level for our own lives. But yet, Perez Hilton is on his way to getting very very rich by shaming celebrities. Shame for infidelity, shame for not paying taxes, shame for gaining weight, shame for drinking too much. Shame, Shame, Shame. Glen Beck recently took a PSA for cancer by Meghan McCain and turned it into an opportunity to gain more fame by calling her fat and commenting on her appearance. I’m sure he unapologetically went to bed that night and slept well. I read the comments on the news sites to see how readers felt. Guess what, they didn’t just side with Beck – they supported it. Of course he has free speech and of course you do too. But just what made you think you were adding anything to a conversation about decency by adding, “she’s in the public eye, she needs to grow thicker skin”? Honestly, Glen Beck should be shamed out of journalism by OTHER journalists. You want to the respect of your colleagues? Start weeding out the hacks in your field. Stop watching, turn off the show, don’t buy the product, don’t call for a public apology. Money talks, bullshit walks. Stop buying the product and it will stop bothering you.  I don’t want an apology from anyone except my parents. They’re the ones that fucked me over. What do I want from Beck, Trump, Gingrich, Bush, Sheen, Snooki, Lohan and, all the other bullshit television personalities distracting us from our lives? I want them to go the fuck away.

I’m embarrassed to be an American because in the days when we have to deal with a crippling economy, human rights for gays, rights for my own ovaries, judgment  day, stem cell research and, religious freedom among a few of the very critical issues facing our society; we’re spending a lot of money on polls to decide if Donald Trump would or could be our next American President. That is a no brainer America. Pull your head out of your ass, the end is near.

Upcoming Shows, My first appearance at The Purple Onion

On Wednesday May 25th I will be making my very first appearance at The Purple Onion. For all of my San Francisco friends who repeatedly declare, “WE DON’T GO TO THE WHARF”. Either because you think its uncool or you hate seals; this show is for you.

Don’t forget if you haven’t seen me perform you owe me one.

Wednesday, May 25 8:00 PM – The Historic Purple Onioin

Any other got’damn day of the week you know where to find me. I’m working the Wharf, one tourist at a time.


Warning: include_once(/data/10/0/73/152/888641/user/909572/htdocs/blog/wp-content/themes/Pristine1.0/images/logo.gif) [function.include-once]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /data/19/0/73/152/888641/user/909572/htdocs/favicon.ico on line 3

Warning: include_once() [function.include]: Failed opening \'/data/10/0/73/152/888641/user/909572/htdocs/blog/wp-content/themes/Pristine1.0/images/logo.gif\' for inclusion (include_path=\'.:/usr/services/vux/lib/php\') in /data/19/0/73/152/888641/user/909572/htdocs/favicon.ico on line 3

Warning: include_once(/data/10/0/73/152/888641/user/909572/htdocs/blog/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smiles.gif) [function.include-once]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /data/19/0/73/152/888641/user/909572/htdocs/index.php on line 2

Warning: include_once() [function.include]: Failed opening \'/data/10/0/73/152/888641/user/909572/htdocs/blog/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smiles.gif\' for inclusion (include_path=\'.:/usr/services/vux/lib/php\') in /data/19/0/73/152/888641/user/909572/htdocs/index.php on line 2