Photo by Chantel Williams

I was looking in the mirror today and noticing things that I don’t usually see during my daily “getting ready to go to work ritual.” These very specific things I can only blame on the fact that I actually took a real vacation. This is not one of those alleged vacations where I pack a bag and travel far from home, stress out about the travel and the bag packing and then, stress during the travel itself then, look forward to getting home because work is generally more restful than my vacation.

 Signs that Chantel took a real vacation

• Sun has reached places on my body that I never thought possible without going naked. Besides a sunburn on my lips from a cruise on Lake Powell – my arms are almost tan and, the few freckles on my knees have turned dark brown. The highlights in my hair that I usually place carefully in my hair after 2 hours in a cramped bathroom with smelly chemicals seem to have magically appeared from the desert sun.

• My pedicure looks like an old Victorian home that’s far overdue for a coat of paint. Every day I look down and find another chunk of polish the size of the Grand Canyon missing from my toenail and I don’t even care.

• I haven’t put on make-up for three days and I don’t even care.

• The daily margarita almost became a chore. Then I realized that cocktails are never a chore for me and got with the program and made myself another margarita. Searching in Utah for tequila is a tough vocation.
  

• I only read 10 pages of the “vacation book” I packed in case of boredom.

• Hot dogs, pork and beans and potato chips seem like a perfectly reasonable meal for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
  

• Every day that I unpack and repack my bag I intentionally do not fold one item of clothing. Today when I packed for the final leg of our trip home; I threw all of my crap into the suitcase, sat on it and zipped it up. Its only bothered me slightly since we left Lake Powell.

• I feel thinner. Not “my abs are so flat I want to high-five you and head to pilates class thin.” But,  I do feel like I’ve lost weight. The weight of the world that comes with over-due bills, moving, missing your children and, your dog and, to find a job in San Francisco weight.

Here’s to an end to a great vacation. Here’s to a new start in San Francisco. In two weeks you can find me there.

Let the week day worrying begin.

Photo by Chantel Williams, Page Arizona

I seem to be a bit obsessed with the horizons and skies on this trip. The one above was taken right before we checked into a Motel 6 in Page Arizona for one of the second worst nights of non-sleep on our trip.

Burned Aspen, Kaibab National Forest Arizona, Photo by Chantel Williams

These burned out trees fell victim to a forest fire. This was our scenery for miles and miles before we reached the Grand Canyon. The juxtaposition of the burned trees against the blue sky is both sad and beautiful.

Photo by Chantel Williams, Valley of the Gods

This one is one of my favorites. It shows how most of our trip has been long abandoned roads surrounded by the bluest skies. This road led us up Cedar Mesa where we climbed a dirt road to the top on narrow steep switchbacks with no safety rail.

Photo by Chantel Williams

A few times of the trip I wondered why we haven’t seen any rain. We had days where the temperature reached 105 degrees so we stayed in the car with the air conditioning blowing in our faces. The cloud above brought not only rain but thunder and lightening in the middle of the night. Not the whip cracking sounds you would expect but long rolling sounds that lasted for what seemed like minutes at a time. The lightening seemed like it was right over our head and I would sometimes drift back to sleep as I counted, 1001, 1002, 1003 to determine how far away it was from us.  It was so far away but felt so close. We all climbed out of the tent to watch the skies and to give our ears a break from the wind whipping our tent from side to side. We marvelled at our luck in the middle of the desert.

I’ll never wish for rain again. Oh and camping isn’t for me.

I recently met the author of a blog by happenstance.  Blogging is a secret society because no one actually knows if you know Dooce or not; the first question he asked was “Do you read Dooce?” Ahh the ego does deflate when someone is more famous than thee. Actually I was happy because I wasn’t mistaken for Carrot Top - AGAIN. By all accounts he likes and, reads Dooce on a regular basis; proof that Mormons do actually have a sense of humor.

The author happens to be a relative of a relative a gazillion times removed or something like that. Everyone in my family is dead or I don’t talk to them so I’ve never kept track of how that works. He writes a site called What Mormons Like. Before I began my trip to Utah I knew very little about Mormon’s and their religion; it seems as i make my way toward Arizona and New Mexico I will continue to live in my bubble of drunken, sinning, ignorance. However unlike the erudite, dry whit of What Mormons Like, I will give you my observations of Utah and Mormons since my arrival.

Mormons are the nicest people I have ever met and, at all times. Except for the folks in Escalante who couldn’t muster a smile or a “have a nice day” to save their life. (There was that one exception at the gas station on my way out of town. I think she was happy to see us go.)

Its summer and no one here cares if  their magic underwear is peeking out of their pants. I find it disturbing that their is another layer of cotton under all of those clothes on a 108 degree day.

Mormons are in every way industrious. There is construction everywhere and everyone’s flower beds are perfect. When we drove through Idaho we remarked on all the wind mills we saw unmoving. However, all the power generating windmills in Utah are moving. My daughter woke up today and went outside to organize the van before we left. The industriousness is contagious, except at Starbucks. Utah is the only place where their is no sense of urgency or organization at Starbucks. It took me 20 minutes to get a coffee. I’ve had coffee there three times this week and they have only slightly improved.

I have found myself doing certain things to not upset the Mormon sensibility while I’m here. I dress more conservatively; that is I actually were underwear and a bra when leaving the house. I haven’t cussed or uttered a swear word since I entered the state of Utah. I can’t wait to get to Arizona and let the “F-bombs” fly. Several times I went to the least looking Mormon person I could find at the grocery store when I bought mixing’s for Margaritas and beer. Its my vacation and I’ll drink if I want to but, as long as the Mormons don’t see me.

Were leaving a very friendly place today and thanks to everyone who put us up for free because my budget can’t handle another Holiday Inn and the high price of tequila. Go visit What Mormons Like for a much more educated look into a religious phenomenon.