There’s a list of thing that can traumatize a girl when she’s down in the dumps. One is finding strange hair growing out of unlikely places. At what age do random wires start poking out of your face seemingly out of nowhere and you’re expected to accept it. I go to bed one night looking normal then the next day with something resembling electrical wire hanging out of my nose.

I’m suddenly an 80 year old man.

Then I start to wonder; where else are there strange wiring devices and pursue a complete body inspection. This being where I find my boobs are a bit lower than they were last year, there’s a bit of cellulite where there used to be muscle and I almost had to lean down to touch my toes to find my ass.

Now I’m traumatized.

Unfortunately it gets worse. Out of curiosity I clicked on the Gene Simmons sex tape clips. Unfortunately that man’s reputation is ruined. He’s the laziest lover ever and has absolutely no moves. If I were to make a sex tape I would at least put my best out there and not look like a asshole in the process. If you didn’t watch it the run down goes like this; he doesn’t bother to remove his pants or his shirt, the girl get less than a minute of foreplay and she acts like a zombie. A zombie who forgets to remove their flip flops but, still a zombie. And who runs around in a corset and flip-flops anyway?

I hear that Gene is thinking of suing. If I were him I would sue too. His reputation as a lover with a legendary tongue is gone; he may never get another peice of ass again.

Depression - 1

Chantel - 0