J asked me if Dr. B was my boyfriend. I don’t have an easy answer for you. I’m dating Dr. B and we like each other. I like him a lot I have no idea how much he likes me but lets assume; since he’s still dating me that it’s a lot as well. There are a lot of considerations when I say this.

Dr. B has never dated a woman with children. I normally don’t date men with children either. I don’t want to have any more children and at my age men are starting to think about children. I’m happy with the two I have and I’m looking forward to my life when I’m not worried constantly about putting food on the table. However, you can imagine the trauma of dating someone who actually has to split her time and her life among many different people. While he probably doesn’t realize how much I have to fragment and choose my time; He’s aware that this does not make me readily available for every whim that might cross his mind (which is a lot). Unfortunately I have to divide my time between motherhood, friends and work. I dream fondly of one day having a life where my time is not so fragmented and my personality so divided among my activities.

Dr. B is a traveler. The man loves to travel around, he loves San Francisco and he spends a good deal of his time talking about moving back to San Francisco. As you my readers have known I have a history with people who flee the area to move to other places that are warmer, more lucrative or more exciting than Portland. While I may think this place is blessed by the Gods, some others (and many) lament its lack of cosmopolitan lifestyle. If you’re over 30 in Portland its tough to date, it tough to go out and, its tough to socialize. You’re more likely to get struck by lightening than to find yourself out on a regular basis enjoying a rich social scene made for normal people. You’re required to be a hipster or a skier or an artist to socialize in this city. We are a city divided by our social groups. If you’re over 30 you are expected to move out of the city, make babies and spend a lot of time working in your yard or barbequing with other couples who have done the same.

Dr. B and I are neither of these groups. We are nice, educated people who have no interest in early retirement. Therefore you could say; he’s a little bored. Portland is not an easy place to meet new people. I spend a lot of time wondering when he’s packing up to leave. It’s a proven fact that if you want your dream job in your dream city then, date me. It usually happens within six months to a year after our first dinner; its only been 4 months. I have a feeling Dr. B would jump at his chance to practice market research and teach human sexuality in San Francisco over staying here and hanging out with a single Mom who isn’t in a position to be a world traveler - just yet. Its astounding how much time I spend waiting for “the bottom to drop” out of most of my relationships.

On the other hand; I’m having so much fun. From our first date where I learned that he majored in Human Sexuality which led to a discussion on the finer points of “Fisting” and a lot of talk about gay sex. He is very patient whenever I show too much interest in what he was teaching that day in class. (I’m an information whore and anyone who might have more information for me is a hero in my book.) We have stuff in common; we both love photography and spend a lot of time holding up the camera to each other repeating; “show me your boobs” without the other getting offended. We travel well together although his lack of a plan and my need for a plan often collide – it all works out in the end. He makes me laugh, he’s tall and, handsome and, he’s got a brain that; when not occupied thinking about sex is an actual working part of his anatomy that lends itself to real grown-up conversation.  If you have sex questions; send them my way - the guy has an endless supply of good answers.

Boyfriend?

Dr. B and I are dating; we’re putting all of that sexuality research to good use, we eat together, we take little trips together and, we hold hands a lot. Other than that - I have no idea.