Ugly Duckling
I recently posted a photograph on Facebook that caused a bit of a stir. You know I avoid controversy and weighty issues; you are still guaranteed that this little photograph was in no way relating to anything important. It had nothing to do with the oil spill, the war, world hunger or Lindsay Lohan.
A friend of mine is a photographer in Los Angeles. He is one of the only people who I allow to take photographs of me. For many reasons; I know in your head you just asked. “Why Chantel? Why won’t you let anyone take photographs of you?”
Because I was an ugly duckling.
I know I’ve posted this photo before but somehow you just don’t believe its me.
Its true, this is my very first photograph. If my parents were smart they would have burned it. No one was unaware that I was an unattractive child. In fact, my family reminded me all the time. Family photograph time came around annually. Annually, my family would debate where I would be placed in an effort to draw attention away from me.
You see I had some problems,
1. Hair – Curly, frizzy and born in 1972. I don’t think hair gel and conditioner had quite reached the popular public. Or it hadn’t become a staple of the poor, the homeless or, those living in Ohio. Why is Ohio so behind on adopting helpful products?
2.) I was tall – I’ve been tall my entire life. I haven’t grown since I was twelve. Unfortunately, I was too tall for pants to go to my ankles. Which means, I wore cropped pants before they were cool. “Hey Chantel, where’s the flood?” usually garnered a punch in the face.
3.) I wore glasses, with freckles. My mom bought me one pair of shoes every year and they were Saddles shoes. I shopped at the goodwill before it was cool, yet AGAIN.
4.) I was angry – I had red hair, freckles, glasses, saddles shoes and a really bad temper. This as we know does not make Little Girls sweet or cute or, anywhere near likeable. Fuck you.
This continued throughout High School until one day a boy talked to me and suddenly I was transformed from an Ugly Duckling to a mildly amusing looking human. I’ve stayed that way for a very long time. Then, one day Dr. B asked me why he deserved me. I posted a photo to his Facebook wall and reminded him that he doesn’t deserve me. While its fake confidence, its confidence I’ve never had before. The confidence to look at the one who loves you straight in the face and tell him; I love you. Dont’ fuck it up.
