Chantel Williams

Chantel Williams 2009 - Photo by Dr. Brian King

I arrived in San Francisco two years ago July. I KNOW, it seems like its been a really long time. Some days I feel like I was born here- other days when I’m walking through the Mission and wishing I was as skinny as some of the hipsters which makes me feel like I belong in the Nation’s midsection and; I am the size of the Nation’s midsection.

I started working at Castagnola’s in July 2008 as a hostess. Some time around January 2009 I was officially promoted to Assistant General Manager. On March 31st 2009 Dr. B and I produced our first Wharf Room Comedy Showcase in the banquet room of Castagnola’s. In the time since that day we have grown to 4 shows per week, an annual contest which pushed our winter schedule to 5 nights per week ANNNNDDDD… if you’re not tired enough; we started and open mic at Pier 23 Cafe on the Embarcadero.

My writing had fallen off before I started comedy. That’s no excuse – but it almost became impossible to write anything that wasn’t a dick joke in the last year. One of my more famous jokes; “Brian proves that not everything from Texas is bigger”……. yuk, yuk, yuk.

This last 11 months I have worked a regular schedule of 15 hour days, six days a week. If I needed to take an extra day for a weekend I generally worked 8 straight days which was the case last September when I drove to Portland to pick up Luna and, to visit my Children and a few friends. The day that I left for Portland I had two HUGE events at the restaurant and, 2 employees walk out on me because I wasn’t as patient and nice as I usually am. Six hours later, 3 hours late; I jumped in the car and proceeded to have the worst road trip in the history of road trips because I was pissed, tired and, grumpy. Ain’t not grumpy like me. And when I’m grumpy Dr. B seems to be the worst person to be around – guess what? I was stuck in a car with him for 12 straight hours.

Included in the last 11 months have been a few health issues. I added 15 pounds to my back side, I’ve developed a severe allergy to god knows what that includes, facial swelling and what appear, and feel like, chemical burns around my eyes and mouth. OOOOH LUCKY ME!! I perform on stage several nights a week and I look like I washed my face with nuclear sludge. Who knows if the allergies were from work, or stress or if someone is actually poisoning me. I do know that I give 150% to any job I do, whether or not that energy is directed and successful in the right places remains a mystery. The point being that I stress myself out until I’m sick.

Choices had to be made.

I’ve been encouraged by several people to go on stage. I HAVE IT RECORDED AND I WILL PROVE IT TO YOU!! , at about the 10.55 mark. So there bitches– And thanks to Tim Taylor. After a lot of encouragement I did finally get on stage. You can see it here. I roasted Dr. B and, I showed little boys how to truly “get mid-evil” on someone. Then we started a podcast so I can have a public outlet to deal with all of the bullshit Dr. B, the narcissist/ADD/Comedian puts me through on a weekly basis.

I’ve been talking with Brian about my current mental state of general un-wellness and then one day he looked at me and said, “Babe I got this.” I will now devote 150% of my energy to the one career that fell out of nowhere and makes me very, very happy!!   As of today I am working for myself as a full-time comedy promoter and producer. My first project is taking The Comedy Club at Castagnola’s to the next level and performing along the way.

I’m nervous and unsettled. Unsettled in a way that included me re-arranging, replacing and organizing my entire house in one day. All the laundry is done and the carpet has been vacuumed. We have new shelves and a new desk. I finished unpacking – we moved here a few months ago and I was still living out of boxes. I moved a box yesterday and saw Luna for the first time in months.

“Hello little puppy, Mommy’s home”

This is where you can find me!

Flyers by Dr. B

I’ve been holding out on the Palace of Fine Arts. Since I arrived in San Francisco last July the Palace grounds have been surrounded or littered with scaffolding and heavy equipment for a building remodel. I vowed that I would wait to visit so I can actually partake of its beauty without the aforementioned gates, chains and hard hat requirements. On Mother’s Day we put the top down on the car and went for a drive in the California sun. As we passed the Palace Brian mentioned that he has not seen the giant metal chastity belt wrapped around the main building for some time. Unfortunately as we got nearer to the Palace we saw hidden scaffolding and strict “Keep OUT” signs peaking from behind some overgrown brush. I was very tempted to go buy a hard hat just so I could take a teeny peek into the secret gardens but, I resisted and held back. I merely snapped a couple of photos as we drove by.

Yes, I was so upset that I refused to allow Brian to park the car.

Here is the glimpse I got, this is the closest I’ve been. I absolutely refuse to get any closer to the building until the construction is complete. When that time comes I suggest you keep a close eye on your flash drives; its going to be very difficult to keep me from assaulting this building with every camera with my reach.

Consider yourself warned Palace of Fine Arts.

You can see a larger version here