How Steve Jobs can teach Sarah Palin how to Lead a Nation
Dear Sarah Palin
You’re out on the road in your stealth bus trying to spread a message, like Jesus or the Rolling Stones we can’t quite tell yet. And you’re not telling either. You’ve been on the road a mere few weeks and you’ve accomplished shoving your foot down your mouth so proficiently. I’m going to clear a few things up for you; since it is clear you don’t feel the need to surround yourself with people smarter that you are, read (ADVISORS).
Today’s gem about Paul Revere and the Freedom Ride was a classic example of leaving out details so that you change the story. In our entire Constitution the right to take up ARMS are only mentioned once. We did not start a playground fight with the Monarchy so we could kill Bambi with semi-automatic rifles. There were a lot of things involved in that little skirmish that left us alone on this vast continent in a little place we like to call the United Stated of America. ‘Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader’ comes to mind right now. The Fifth grade is the time I made a beautiful hand-made 3D diorama of the signing of the Declaration of Independence. This is when I learned about America’s fight for freedom. This is when I learned that Paul Revere was not concerned about the British taking our guns; he was informing everyone to grab their guns because the British were actually coming to kill America’s future founding fathers and then force taxes and indentured servitude upon us. There were also those little details about escaping persecution and, religious freedom and, taxes but, I’m assuming you knew about that and chose to not disclose it in your interpretation because it might detract from your argument. I’m not sure what your argument is right now but I’m sure I’ll find out soon.
You’re always yelling about the LIBERAL media. Why is this? You claim that the LIBERAL media twists the facts to create stories. Do you realize that the left and the right do this equally and offensively? You work for a news organization right now, you know this more than anyone. Media on both sides no longer report facts and, they do it LIBERALLY. All media is liberal media, these days and now you are part of it. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em? I’m sure that’s what you were thinking when you joined the staff. I love how you’ve been hired by a media organization while you were still undecided about running for president, so that this media organization can pay for you to run around the country, in a bus, with your family, with a giant American Flag on the side of it, with no intended purpose. Talk about twisting policy to suite your agenda.
The entire time you have been in the political mainstream you’ve pointed fingers, made accusations and, placed blame. Sweatheart, you are your own worst enemy. As a would-be leader of the free world do you think it’s time your hate tirade should turn to joining the multiplying sides of our country together? All of the leaders of this country understand that we will have multiple viewpoints and we need to somehow dissect all of those viewpoints into policy making decisions that make attempts to suit all of us, across the board. We look to our leaders to find ways to join us together, we look to our leaders to try and understand us and our viewpoint from our very different backgrounds, belief systems and lifestyle choices.
You’re a maverick and you’re not part of the boys club in the Whitehouse, you’re different? So you settle on plain talk, outdated, old-fashioned and, mis-guided attempts to talk to Joe Public. I don’t know if you realize that Joe Public is not very smart. You only have to look to our top rated television progams and, our obsession with all Apple products to understand American’s. Apple can release a new iPad and we will stand in a line, in the cold, around the block, to buy one. We will subjugate ourselves for Apple products. I won’t even subjugate myself to my boyfriend and I used to love him. Maybe you should ask Steve Jobs how he united a Nation, he could give you some tips on what it took to get one nation, indivisible under Apple. I know it’s taking me a long time to get to the point – recognize? We want our leaders to be SMARTER than us. We expect you to know things that we don’t. We want you to talk to us like Leaders do, not like a Mother or, a Moose hunter or like Jessica Simpson. Be eloquent, be well-read, be able to take an abstract thought and distill it into an anecdote that all of us understand and all of us can get behind. We need you to act like someone who has done that, seen things and, is still able to keep control of your own email account at the same time. I know it’s a lot to ask but you DO want to be president someday don’t you?
Do you know how bad I want a woman president? Do you know how bad WOMEN want a female in the White House? You’re making us look bad, you’ve set the women’s movement backward. We aren’t all Mama Grizzlies, we want freedom for our ovaries, we know that abstinence doesn’t work and, we need you to understand that, we want policies that provide us with freedom, safety and equality. You need to act and speak like the smart, capable woman I know you are. We are done having dummy’s in the White House you should know that by now.
Park your bus lady, stop taking a paycheck from a LIBERAL media organization and state your purpose or, you can simply go back home and tell your grand-children about the famous Freedom Ride with Paul Revere as your husband shines his double barrel shot-gun next to the crackling fire.
Welcome to America cupcake
